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9.29.2021

Let's Write an Essay :p

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 Every Love Story has its own characteristic.

I once made a love post here. It's not as smooth as I wanted it to be. The feelings are mutual, but that happened sometimes, they treated you badly, you were in pain and everything that you dreamt about, lose in vain. 

I was very careful about my feelings. I don't let someone in easily. But this year, I let someone come. I've fallen for him. That's when you already know, you wouldn't use any of your logic or love theories anymore (even when you've read thousand of articles bout it). You have your criteria, you wanted the best, you recognized the type of guy that you hated the most. You already know what you want. But you can't use any of that criteria when you already fall for someone. You're blind. You make yourself blind. 

Just like Taylor Swift's new music video that went viral, she remembered every little details of her love story w/ her ex. Finally, me and her have one thing in common :p. Idk whether it was hard for her or not, but for me personally, forgetting someone is like trying to know somebody you've never met. (pinjem lagunya ya mba Tay). So when I started to know somebody new, I had to make sure to let the past go. And I did!

Thank you for trusting me, thankyou for convincing me that my insecurities are not that bad, for telling me I'm beautiful just the way I am and loving every inch of my flaws.


  

9.24.2020

Describe Your Personality

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    You'll feel that excitement in yourself when you finally write again! (walaupun cuma untuk blog pendengar keluh kesah ini). 



    Jadi, beberapa hari yang lalu ngeliat salah satu penulis blog favoritku, penulis buku juga, yang post nya selalu aku anggap menarik : Romeo Gadungan . Ceritanya doi baru nerima challenge nulis post selama 30 hari. Terus aku mutusin buat ikutan juga. Tapi berhubung jadwal kuliahku ga jelas (biar ada alasan selain mager) jadi 30 Days Writing Challenge ini aku ubah dengan seenak jidatku menjadi 30 Posts Challenge! *insert sorakan penonton terheboh here*

 

1. Ceria?

    Aku itu orang yang (lumayan) ceria ya, karena dulu kalo emak sering bilang "Cemberut gitu cepat tua lho" aku pasti nggak jadi marah hahaha. Kalaupun lagi sedih, aku nggak akan nunjukin ke orang lain. Kalau ini peranan besar dari emak sih. Kalo ingat gimana aku kecil dulu, rasanya gemas pengen aku tabok tuh anak kecil yang cranky itu. Hahaha. Tapi dulu emak bukan tipe orangtua yang bakal nurutin keinginan aku dan bakal ngebiarin aku mau nangis kek, mau teriak teriak segimananya di depan orang, nggak dipeduliin biar aku belajar untuk menerima. Nah nanti bakal ditenangin dengan kata-kata semacam "Jangan gitu, busuk hatinya kalo gitu", "Jangan cemberut kayak orang tua" dsb. Hehe trus diajarin juga untuk selalu ramah sama orang lain. Thanks mama. 


2. Kalem?

    Terus kalau kata kawan-kawan, termasuk baik juga, ya walapun relatif sih ini dan oh ya, temperamental. Teman teman SMP-SMA tau kalau mereka berani ngejek aku, pasti mereka aku kejar, tendang atau aku pukul. Astaghfirullah barbar ya. 👺 Dari SD sih kalo itu sampe pernah di setrap. Pas SMP udah belajar untuk berantam lewat kata-kata karena lawan mainnya perempuan dan rasanya lebih ''sakit'' ya daripada dulu berantam sama kawan laki-laki di SD. 

 

    Saking mudah marah, dulu aku suka nggak cek dulu kebenaran informasi yang aku terima trus langsung marah aja. Jadi beberapa keputusan ada yang salah karena kebanyakan "kata orang". Nah setelah itu pas SMA belajar untuk nggak mudah marah, tapi cari tau dulu kebenarannya kayak apa. Jadinya sekarang, menurut sahabat dan kawan kuliah, aku itu nggak mudah marah dan paling sabar di geng SMA. hahaha. 


Pas aku sama kawan SMA ku tiba tiba ketemu kawan kampus, aku pasti "Sst diam dulu kalian, image aku di kampus kalem woy". "Nggak tau aja orang itu aslinya ko Sa" -Tjut. Makasih lho 😅

 

    Kalau mau tau sih, bukannya anaknya emang kalem dan sabar kayak gini, tapi udah belajar lebih sabar dan cari tau informasi lebih dulu. Jadi aku gamau marah ke sesuatu yang ternyata nggak benar atau ke orang yang salah. Makanya aku pengen marah ke sesuatu yang berhak bikin aku marah. *ribet*. Ya gitu intinya proses aku terlihat kalem ini nggak mudah sama sekali. Aku percaya segala proses berantam dan marah-marahan di lingkungan pertemanan dulu sangat membantu membentuk karakter aku. Dengan adanya penolakan, marah, kecewa, sedih, semuanya itu pengen aku pelukin satu-satu  ucapin makasih karena sekaligus nyadarin aku kalo dunia dan orang dewasa itu nggak sebaik imajinasi waktu kecil dulu.

 

3. Cuek?

    Beberapa ada yang merasa aku cuek, yaaa benar! Tambahan, anaknya suka overthinking dan nggak suka ribet. Jadi supaya aku nggak kepikiran terlalu banyak omongan orang, let's avoid them, put your headphone on and listen to good musics, you know what I mean. 😉 Aku akan menaruh 100% kepercayaan aku ke orang baru. Benar, walaupun ini salah, tapi memang aku semudah itu percaya sama orang. Kedepannya ketika ada hal-hal yang mereka lakukan untuk menjatuhkan dan nyebar hal-hal jelek tentang aku, kepercayaan itu turun drastis. I don't do math, you know, I wont reduce the trust score, I just take it back. And when I talk to you like nothing happened, you're forgiven, but things you did never been forgotten. 🙅 Poin lainnya adalah untuk menghindari terjadi hal-hal ribet kedepannya, (sekaligus ngurangin overthinking-nya Salsabila), mending nyari film bagus di netflix nggak usah terlalu ikut urusan orang. Nah itu.


Kesimpulan : Lingkungan dan kejadian di sekitar akan membuat kita menjadi orang yang berbeda, membentuk karakter yang lebih matang.  Lebih baik atau lebih buruk? You decide!


That's all, my friend. See you soon!

 

7.26.2016

Confusion

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Thinking about last night
People said it was right. But I'm still thinking that I'm wrong
I didn't listen to what my heart said
The truth is..... I dunno what it said
I left half of my heart there
Hoping it wont disappear
Knowing that my appearance is not enough to make her believe
We all want the best for her
I know she wont left me, even in difficult situation
That's something that I believe until I graduate from high school
But I know I wont do the same thing
Until last night I decide to do it
Though I know this regret will forever be in me
I still want to try once
Hoping she will understand someday
Hoping she will forgive me someday
Even if it means
I'm no longer her little girl
That's enough for me

7.23.2016

Relief

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If she showed him how much she needed him, he’d runaway.
“All I do when we’re apart is think about you and all I do when we’re together is panic. Because every second feels so important.
I’m so out of control, I can’t help myself. And what if you decide that you don’t want me like I want you?”
                                                                                    -Eleanor
                                                                                    (Eleanor & Park)

I also thought the same as Eleanor before. I’m so relieved that I finally said it,  when you asked that day.  I once said to myself, "Never again, will I let someone in" (until I graduate at least), but how can I let you in without any doubt? :)

5.07.2016

Officially 20!

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May,7th 2016
The girl who was born in 1996 becomes 20.
Time goes as fast as it can. I feel like, I just celebrated my Seventeen birthday yesterday.

"Soooo... Welcome to 20~ "
Some people said. And this morning I thought that Allah already gave me 20 years to live. Sudahkah aku bersyukur sebanyak itu? Sudahkah ngasih yang terbaik?

The answer is no. Kebanyakan ngeluh sih, iya. And the day is still moving, the time is still going fast.

I also realized that in this age, one by one my suppoter had gone. And I have to stand up with my own legs (..... you know what I meant.right? It doesnt mean that I used someone else's legs all these time #garing) It means without that hand that push me to stand up, now I have to. with all my strengths. #salsaperkasa #salsamacho

And for all problems,the way I faced them suddenly changed. I tried to see it with someone else's perspective and it helps. It helps me understand their position and to make a move.

Alhamdulillah ya Allah for my parents that love me, that days in my childhood that full of joy, that days in junior and senior high school that is incredibly fun, the teacher who always support us whenever we go, these days I spent in college, for the laughter I shared with my friends, for my family and friends that gave me a lot of happiness, for the problems and tears that gave me a lot of lessons.And alhamdulillah for all the prayers that people sent to me. Aamiin ya rabbal alamin. The same pray goes to you :)

p.s : the cake is as good as it looks.